Ahhh.

Hello new friend.

When Was the Last Time You Got MA-ed?

As you can see, this December has been very productive for me. I have a firm belief that mistletoe is regrettably underutilized in our culture. I honestly don't understand why something that has the potential to bring so much joy to the world is overlooked year after year. In an effort to force my beliefs on other people, I took matters into my own hands...literally.

At this year's Christmas Charity Ball, I dedicated my night to making people's dreams come true—mostly Justin's...I got him to kiss four girls. There really isn't anything I love more than creating awkward situations and watching how people react. It was fun having girls come up to me, telling me where to attack so as to facilitate some much-desired physical contact between their friends. I even had one girl come up to me after the night was over and thank me over and over again for my help. Her friend had asked me to pounce with the Roving Mistletoe so she could kiss the guy of her dreams. Needless to say, I saw the friend at Blockbuster the other day and she came up to me and said, "Are you the mistletoe guy?" I said. "Of course I am." I asked her how things were going with her friend. She said things were moving along nicely. I made her promise she would send me her friend's wedding announcement when the time came.

I can't think of a time when I have ever been happier than that night holding that mistletoe up in the air. I was even rewarded with a kiss of my own. I'll never forget the way Lauren grabbed the back of my head and laid her ruby reds right on mine—which is the least she could do after running in terror the first time I "Mistletoe Ambushed" her at my apartment. At least when I MA-ed Ashley, she just blushed and kept saying she couldn't do it. But her hesitancy was no match for my powers of osculatory persuasion. Isn't that right Ashley?

The mistletoe will be available for public use right inside the front door of the Walker/Partridge/DeHart pad until the first of the year. Just so you know...

Question

Why the *level one* do girls where promise rings? Is it really worth all of the ambiguity? How are we supposed to know if it is just some stupid ring that a missionary gave you in a futile attempt to keep you loyal or if it is a weird wedding band?

Within the past week and a half, I've met two (extremely) attractive girls with rings on their fingers. The rings weren't normal wedding rings though, one was thick and looked cheap and the other looked to be made up of several tiny little bands. When I see rings like that where an engagement ring should be, I get confused and then I don't know what to do. Should I flirt, should I ignore, should I just treat you like a non-sexual, non-female being that I have no chance with? I'm programmed to perpetuate the DeHart name, right? I need to know who I can do that with and promise rings just get in the way, you know?

A Light(box) at the End of the Tunnel

Although I've only been working a 40-hour week now for about two and a half years, I still find it difficult to focus some days. I've made progress and certain days don't even seem like eight hours long, but other days seem like I've been working for 14 hours by 11 o'clock (Editors note—I include a Facebook Status from July 28, 2010 to further illustrate my point: "How the *level one* is it only 11?!! I feel like I've been here for 14 hours already."). I owe my success to several survival tactics I've come up with—one of which I will describe below—

Most projects at my job require some sort of photographic element in order to achieve the esthetic nirvana that all hospital patients are expecting from their healthcare public relations department. Luckily for us, we have www.istock.com, a stock photography site that sells you the rights to thousands upon thousands of professional photos. One very convenient service istock provides is a page on your account called a "lightbox." Simply put, a lightbox is where you can store images that you like but are not planning on purchasing right away. I use mine quite often to store photos of different services (i.e. rehab, surgery) that I come across in case I might need them in the future.

Well, to make a long story even longer...I have a coworker who rarely uses istock. I also have another coworker that manages our account and has created a lightbox page for everyone on the team—including this coworker who doesn't really use it. One day I came across a photo that was really awkward and made me a little uncomfortable. Holly (yet another coworker) and I decided we would put it in Ethan's lightbox. We thought it was really funny (and may or may not have laughed ourselves silly for longer than is normal for two working professionals. Sine that fateful day, I have been adding photos to his lightbox whenever I come across something bizarre.

I don't know what it is about secretly putting weird pictures in a digital folder that is so fun, but I giggle like a little kid every time I think about it. I laugh even harder when I pull up the folder online and shuffle through the collection.

I guess the lesson here is don't let monotony govern your work days. Look for ways to shake things up...even if it's at someone else's expense!

Here are a couple of the gems from my coworker's lightbox for your enjoyment:

Hug a Single Person Day

It's been a while, I know. I need to work on that. If it's any consolation, I've been updating my music blog pretty regularly ( themarkofdane.blogspot.com ). As for my personal blog, just a couple of updates to report:

1. I just got my hair cut...short. Not too happy about it. With my hair short again I look younger and I look lost. Don't ask me to explain it, that's the only way I can describe it. Luckily, it will only take about four months for it to grow back to where it was. Heck, I may just let it grow out to look like this guy (don't tell my mom)—

What do you think?


2. I ran the Red Rock Relay this weekend and loved it, that is until it was two in the morning and I was thinking about the four uphill miles that were in front of me. It was cold and I kept thinking deranged homeless guys were going to jump me and drag me into the bushes, but I just turned my iPod up and focused on the road. Just when I thought I was going to die of hypothermia, Cyndi Lauper came on with "All Through the Night" and I looked up and saw a shooting star. Another point of severe discomfort assaulted me on my third leg when I was running through the desert at midday. I had a 6.7 mile stretch that started off smooth with about two miles downhill, but then took a turn for the worst (literally) when it started going uphill. It was miserable. When I reached the last hill and thought that the day would end with me at the hospital, my iPod pulled through yet again with Dave Barnes' "Carry Me Though." "There's a mountain, here before me, and I'm gonna climb it, with strength not my own." It was perfect timing...literally carried me through.



3. I am in the process of planning a Masquerade party. We actually have a committee of 21 people who are planning it. We have five sub committees: invitations, decorations, food, photography and music. We may have to include another: lighting, unless we want to add another sub-sub committee to decorations. We'll have to see. Hopefully people come and don't complain about masks being against their religion.

4. I am a single man again—did I mention mortal fear grips my heart every time I think about it? I hate grocery shopping alone. I don't know what it is about buying food without anyone next to me that just makes me feel down. It's been about three weeks since the breakup and I've been feeling a little lonely. I was walking down the hall at work the other day and I thought, "Man, I need a hug." I realized it had been a while since I had had one and it made me miss having a girlfriend who would hug me every day. Don't get me wrong, us single men are tough, but every now and then, we just need to be wrapped in some arms. So if you haven't already today, go hug a single person. They don't get as many as the rest of the world.


Well, that's about it...for now. I'll keep you posted on any other exciting happenings as needed.

BLTs and Wasperry Shakes

I've had the delightful opportunity as of late to spend a couple of weekends in Bear Lake. My buddy Tanner has a cabin up there and has been generous enough to invite me on two occasions. The first trip we went on was more of a "guy night" (*forearm double bump*) with Justin, Mark, Tanner and me. While the second was more of what the young people now-a-days lovingly call a "co-ed trip."



I had never been to Bear Lake before our first trip and was a little shocked by how beautiful it was up there. Out Guy Night trip was great because we were able to head up and just relax (and talk about whatever we wanted). I took a bunch of crosswords to do throughout the weekend and was again surprised when everyone wanted to help me complete them. I have been doing crosswords for years and have never had such a pleasant response.


Let it be written as well, that this trip was where the "tenner" was born. We pretty much played "Name Your Price" the whole trip (For those of you who are unfamiliar, Name Your Price is a game where you ask a friend how much money it would take for them to do some outlandish hypothetical situation). It was decided in Bear Lake that the price would always be $10 and the situations would no longer remain hypothetical and that is how the "tenner" was born. The tenner is the $10 bill that now acts as the price for all our bets. On another post, I'll have to fill you in on all the bets that have taken place so far.

On the second trip, we invited girls (including Mindy), which was awesome. We had the cabin to ourselves and the boys slept in the loft and the girls slept in the bedrooms. We hung out at the beach, we made delicious food and we held the first-ever (drumroll please) crossword challenge. We broke into teams and each did the same crossword. Needless to say, Justin, Dane and Ashley creamed the other team. A combination of Dane's experience, Justin's abounding knowledge and cinematic expertise and Ashley's fashion know-how, Team Killdeer was able to take home the championship trophy.


The other highlight of the co-ed trip, was the patriotic tribute we performed around the campfire. With lit sparklers in hand, all seven of us sang "My Country Tis of Thee." It was decided by Lana that we needed to hold the last note out until every sparkler had died. It was a little weird, but we were laughing ourselves silly. That was right before the flaming fireball of treesap spewed out of the flames and landed on my arm, my hair and my clothes. Lucky for me, I now have a free souvenir from the trip: a pink scar the size of a nickel on my forearm.


Now all I can do as I sit at my desk, is count down the days until I am there again. On the second trip, I was running along the shore and this song came on my iPod. I have to share it because everytime I hear it now, I think of Bear Lake. The song is Sooner or Later by Rookie of the Year.

Some Days Are Better Than Others