When Was the Last Time You Got MA-ed?

As you can see, this December has been very productive for me. I have a firm belief that mistletoe is regrettably underutilized in our culture. I honestly don't understand why something that has the potential to bring so much joy to the world is overlooked year after year. In an effort to force my beliefs on other people, I took matters into my own hands...literally.

At this year's Christmas Charity Ball, I dedicated my night to making people's dreams come true—mostly Justin's...I got him to kiss four girls. There really isn't anything I love more than creating awkward situations and watching how people react. It was fun having girls come up to me, telling me where to attack so as to facilitate some much-desired physical contact between their friends. I even had one girl come up to me after the night was over and thank me over and over again for my help. Her friend had asked me to pounce with the Roving Mistletoe so she could kiss the guy of her dreams. Needless to say, I saw the friend at Blockbuster the other day and she came up to me and said, "Are you the mistletoe guy?" I said. "Of course I am." I asked her how things were going with her friend. She said things were moving along nicely. I made her promise she would send me her friend's wedding announcement when the time came.

I can't think of a time when I have ever been happier than that night holding that mistletoe up in the air. I was even rewarded with a kiss of my own. I'll never forget the way Lauren grabbed the back of my head and laid her ruby reds right on mine—which is the least she could do after running in terror the first time I "Mistletoe Ambushed" her at my apartment. At least when I MA-ed Ashley, she just blushed and kept saying she couldn't do it. But her hesitancy was no match for my powers of osculatory persuasion. Isn't that right Ashley?

The mistletoe will be available for public use right inside the front door of the Walker/Partridge/DeHart pad until the first of the year. Just so you know...