The Perfect Gift for an Over Anxious ESFP

I often tell people I struck human gold with my friends. The other day I was at the store when I got a phone call. It was my buddy Justin. Justin told me that he, Mark and Brian (two of my other buddies) all wanted to go to lunch and they were calling, because they wanted to go with me.

I told them I would love to go--mostly because it involved two of my favorite things: 1. Getting invited to do stuff and 2. food. We set a time and they picked me up and took me to Friday's. What they didn't tell me is that they invited two of our other friends, Tanner and David. What they didn't tell me(#2)was that we were "celebrating." What we were celebrating? I didn't know. Nor did I know until we were well into dinner and Justin pulled out a small package wrapped in a brown paper bag.

He told me that we were celebrating our friendship and that they had gotten me something that they really thought I needed. Needless to say, I was a little scared and I was thinking it was probably something inappropriate or embarrassing and I would probably regret opening it at the restaurant or ever agreeing to have dinner with them. Needless to say (#2), I opened it anyway. Like I've said before, I am much to fond of awkward situations to let getting embarrassed ruin them. I tore a little piece of paper at the edge only to peer in and read the word "pregnancy" on the outside of the inner object. My suspicions were correct. At that moment I knew the object contained in that wrapping was both inappropriate and embarrassing. I finished unwrapping the present to find this little number:

I was delighted of course. There is nothing I like more than presents and there is nothing I like more than presents that are meant to be funny. Let me insert here that they changed the description at the top from "A sexuality resource for teenagers" to A sexuality resource for over anxious ESFPs." I loved everything about it. I was even more delighted because the kids I tutor at Slate Canyon call me the 40 Year Old Virgin and I always retort with, "Abstinence rocks!"

If I may share a line from chapter 13: There are many other ways to make love.

"Many sexual experiences can be enjoyed without losing your virginity. These experiences are more pleasurable when both partners understand that they are not intended to stimulate feelings that would lead to intercourse."

So kids, take my advice and heed the 501 reasons to hold off on sex. You'll be happy you did!

Thank you Justin, Mark and Brian.